Want more energy and bigger results Stop asking HOW

Want mora energy and bigger results Stop asking HOWWant mora energy and bigger results Stop asking HOWFocus on WHO instead of HOW?- ?Dean JacksonTheres a famous story of Edwin C. Barnes, who in 1905 had no money or expertise. However, he welches an ardent fan of the inventor, Thomas Edison.Barnes wanted to become business partners with Edison. He knew that if he became partners with Edison, there would be no limits on what he could accomplish. He took a freight train to New Jersey and walked straight to the Edison Laboratory.He welches wearing musty and scrappy clothes and told Edison he wanted to go into business with him. Edison welches impressed by the boldness and made Barnes a floor sweeper.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreDuring the next few years, Barnes did far more than expected of him for little pay. He also paid close attention to Edison, getting a sense of how he thou ght and what his goals were.After years of working on his dictating machine - what later became known as the Ediphone that recorded voice letters on a wax cylinder - Edison wanted to commercialize it. He loved the invention but none of his staff saw much marketability in it.Barnes, however, thought the machine welches brilliant and saw a huge potential market. He made a marketing plan for how he intended to sell the machines throughout America and shared the plan to Edison. He sought payment only on the success he created himself.Edison liked what he saw and accepted Barnes proposal. Within a short period of time, Barnes had sold thousands of machines and even had to create his own company to handle the demand. While things were growing dramatically, Barnes became known for hiring great people to help him market and distribute Edisons machine. He didnt see himself as a boss, but more of a coach and a partner to all of his employees.Barnes quickly became a millionaire, which back t hen meant a lot more than it means now. He developed a unique collaboration and partnership with Thomas Edison that became a long-term and highly lucrative relationship.Barnes didnt have a plan.Instead, he had a rolle.He had someone he wanted to work with and help.He didnt have a HOW. Barnes had a WHO.- - - Dont ask HOWWhen fruchtwein people have goals, they immediately begin thinking about HOW. Billionaires immediately begin thinking about WHO.The public school-system does bedrngnis teach people to become WHO-thinkers and collaborators. Instead, the school system teaches people how to become HOW-thinkers, equipped with a seemingly endless amount of generalized skillsets.Rather than looking for OTHERS to work with, kids are taught to compete against others and look for right answers. There is basically zero training on developing mentorships, collaborations, partnerships, teamwork, and leadership. Even as a PhD student, Ive been surprised how generalized my education has been. Rat her than working with specific WHOs, my whole education has been a non-stop flow of HOWs.Dan Sullivan is the founder of Strategic Coach and has coached more successful entrepreneurs than anyone alive. According to Sullivan, when a person shifts from HOW to WHO, their goals immediately become national or global. Their thinking expands at least 10 to 100 times bigger, because they arent the one figuring out the HOW. Someone else already has that taken care of.According to Sullivan, the entrepreneurs who want to reach 100X or bigger influence and income realize they must collaborate with their competition. The best collaborations are when a idea-generator teams up with a distributor of ideas. This is what happened with Edison and Barnes. Edison had the idea and Barnes took the idea to the masses.Becoming a WHO-thinkerYour network is your net worth. - Tim SandersMost peoples goals are based on HOW. According to Dan Sullivan, thinking about the HOW is daunting and leads to procrastinatio n. Instead of asking HOW, a much better question is WHO.WHO do you want to learn from?WHO is already doing what you want to be doing?WHO is where you want to be?WHO fascinates and/or inspires you?WHO do you want to collaborate with?WHO do you want to help? According to bestselling author Jeff Goins, Success isnt about who you know. Success is about who you help.There is a clear transition that people make as their vision for themselves advances. They stop thinking in terms of I do this. Instead, they shift to either They do this or We do this.They do this is where you begin thinking bigger about yourself and your time. You realize that when youre operating in your super-power, your time can actually be worth a lot of money. Therefore, you begin outsourcing and delegating the stuff you dislike about your work to other people and focus only on that which you love. Said YouTuber Casey Neistat, What is the ultimate quantification of success? For me, its leid how much time you spend doin g what you love. Its how little time you spend doing what you hate.It may seem scary to begin hiring or outsourcing before you feel ready. But the moment you begin doing it, youll never look back. The extra time and also the increased rate of happiness and productivity will more than 10X for you, justifying the cost.We do this is a special place held for only those collaborations that make absolute sense to you. This is where you want to start thinking really big about the WHOs you want into your life. This is what Dan Sullivan was talking about when he said you want to collaborate with your competition.And by the way, competition doesnt exist for people who know who they are. Competition doesnt exist for people who trust themselves enough to know they can create continual Blue Oceans for themselves, regardless of the situation.Competition doesnt exist for people who are abundant WHO-thinkers, because rather than trying to steal the whole pie, abundant WHO-thinkers recognize thatThe pie doesnt belong to them, but to the UniverseThe pie is not finite, but infiniteNor is the game finite, but infiniteThe more of the pie you can give away, the bigger it gets for youRelationships are the most important currency in the worldIts better to give the piece of pie on your plate to the right person and youll quickly get plates back with even bigger piecesGive your piece away to the right person (even if its your favorite flavor)Life gives to the giver and takes from the taker. - Joe PolishRegarding the last point in the bullet above, I recently had the opportunity to co-author a book with one of the SHARKS from the TV show Shark Tank, Kevin Harrington. Several months ago, Kevins CEO, fruchtfleisch Timm, heard me give a talk at a mastermind and felt good about me. He didnt know what we would do together, but felt like something important was going to happen.During my first meeting with Mark, I told him the only thing that made sense for me was co-authoring a book with Kevi n. Id been looking for opportunities to co-author books with people at far different stages in their life and career than Im at.Within a few days, I got a text message from Mark, Kevins onboard. He loves the ideaFor the next two months, I worked back-and-forth with my agent on a book proposal. Then, something deep inside me began to feel wrong, like I wasnt the guy for this job. But at the same time, I knew this was potentially a career-altering opportunity.In the midst of all of this, I heard back from Dan Sullivan, my dream mentor and the founder of Strategic Coach that hed also like to co-author a major book with me.According to Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour WorkweekThe opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom.Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all.Remember - boredom is the enemy, not some abstract failure. I realized that, although a golden opportunity, I wasnt as excited about the Kevin Harrington book. It had becoming a complex and messy situation. But even more, I just felt like something was amiss. I ended-up getting on the phone with Mark to discuss why the project was beginning to stall when it had so much momentum. I began to explain why the situation was getting complex to me and then the idea hit me, Mark, you should be the co-author of this bookI heard nothing for 10 seconds.You know what, he said, This feels really right. But who would write it? Would you still write the book? I want you to continue being involved on this project.No, I told him, I have someone way better at writing than me who can take care of this for you.I ended-up linking them with a friend who has a company that specializes in writing books exactly like this. The connection worked-out perfectly. I was able to make the pie a lot bigger for Mark and Kevin. I didnt need to eat that particular pie with them. I didnt need to hold that opportunity tightly from a scarcity perspective. I gave that piece away. And now my relationship with them will last long-beyond this one project anyways. This was the right way to go for this project. Mark was the right name on that book. I wasnt going to get in the way of that.Billionaire Richard Branson said, Business opportunities are like buses, theres always another one coming. When you have an abundance mentality, and your focus is on giving more than taking, you realize that endless buses are coming filled with endless pieces of pie.When you operate from abundance, you develop powerful relationships with powerful people and you never run out of opportunities in The Gig Economy of which we are now a part. Operating from abundance means youre humble, people trust and like you, and youre a master of your craft. When this is the case, you will never run out of gigs in the gig economy.Never forget the important words of Jim Collins from Good To Great when he said, It takes discipline to say No, thank you t o big opportunities. That fact that something is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is irrelevant if it doesnt fit.Stay scrappy (words of wisdom from a very wise and humble man)Bestselling author Jeff Goins has some really important stuff to say about saying No to the wrong opportunities.According to Jeff theres a huge difference between people who try to look sophisticated and people who remain scrappy. As he saidSophisticated people are highly concerned about their image. They care about accolades, recognition, and appearance. In reality, these people look better than they actually are. Sophisticated people really care what others think and tend to compare and compete. They dont have a sense of their own work and are willing to do whatever has worked for others.Conversely, scrappy people are far more concerned about the work. They let their work speak for itself. These people are better than they look. Scrappy people stay in their lane. Theyre confident in who they are and dont comp are themselves to others.We live in an age where people really really want to look sophisticated. Ive seen this so many times. A writer gets their first couple thousand schmelzglas subscribers and all-of-a-sudden they are now the expert selling courses on the subject. And of course, they are taking all of the credit for their own success.The words of entrepreneur and strategist, Michael Fishman are instructiveSelf-made is an illusion. There are many people who played divine roles in you having the life that you have today. Be koranvers to let them know how grateful you are.In the book Give and Take, Adam Grant explained that successful people GIVE others credit while unsuccessful people TAKE the credit. Who wants to have a relationship with someone who takes all the credit? Who wants to have a relationship with someone who isnt appreciate and grateful and giving?Those seeking sophistication either wanted fame and notoriety in the first place or they have completely forgotten WHY the y were doing their work. Either way is a short-term approach to life and a death-sentence for developing long-term and important relationships.Create a list of dream mentorsWhen the WHY is strong enough, youll figure out WHOWhen the WHO is exciting enough, youll figure out HOW- Benjamin Hardys adaptation of the quote by Bill WalshIn the book, The Third Door, alexanderplatz Banayan tells the story of how he met and learned from people like Bill Gates, Lady Gaga, Steven Spielberg, and others.Alex was clearly a WHO-thinker. Rather than deciding specifically what he wanted to do, instead he thought of WHO he wanted to learn from. Once he decided WHO, then he began getting very creative about HOW he would connect with those people.Alex was particularly inspired by Elliot Bisnow, the founder of Summit co-owner of Powder Mountain Resort in Eden, Utah. Alex wrote down on a piece of paperDREAM MENTORSHe listed Elliot Bisnow and spent the next several hours composing an email to Elliot. He s aid exactly what he needed to say in that email and got a meeting, which turned into a mentorship.In their first bewerbungsgesprch, Elliot gave Alex some ground-rules for developing powerful relationships with peopleNever use your phone in a meeting. It makes you look like a chump. The more digital the world gets, the more impressive it is to use a pen. And its also just rude to be on your phone.Act like you belong. Walk into a room like youve been there before. Dont gawk over celebrities. Be cool. Be calm. Never ever ask someone for a picture. If you want to be treated like a peer, you need to act like one. Fans ask for pictures peers shake hands.Mystery makes history. When youre doing amazing stuff, dont post it on Facebook. No one actually changing the world posts everything they do online. Keep people guessing what youre up to. Plus, the people youre going to impress by posting stuff online are not the people you should care about impressing.Never, ever, go back on your word. If I tell you something in confidence, you need to be a vault. What goes in does not come out. This goes with your relationships with anyone from this day forward. If you act like a vault, people will treat you like a vault. It will take years to build your reputation but seconds to ruin it.Adventures only happen to the adventurous.Who are your dream mentors?Who are your dream mentors?Who are the people who are WHERE YOU WANT TO BE?Who are the people who fascinate and inspire you?Who are the people you want to learn from?Joe Polish, the founder of Genius Network and arguably the most connected man in business, has a list of rules that he expects of those whom he interacts with. He calls it his Magic Rapport Formula. The principles of his formula areFocus on how you will help them reduce their sufferingInvest time, money, and energy on relationshipsBe the type of person they would always answer the phone forBe useful, grateful, and valuableTreat others how you would love to be treatedA void formalities, be fun and memorable, not boringAppreciate peopleGive value on the spotGet as close to in-person as you canIf you combine Elliot Bisnows rules with Joe Polishs formula, you have a potent cocktail for developing relationships and mentorships with just about anyone.You dont need to be the best in the world at what you do. You simply need to get the job done. You need to be able to help your DREAM MENTOR in a powerful and compelling way. Remember Edwin Barnes from the beginning of this article? He didnt have much by way of expertise. He just had a definite desire to work for Edison.Wait, no. He wanted more than just to work for Edison. He wanted to be Edisons partner. He wanted to collaborate with Edison. And of course, he did. It took a little time, but he built rapport and then seized a powerful moment by making it all about Edisons success and goals.A fast and powerful way to get noticedBeing mentored by your heroes is one thing. But collaborating with your heroes is something entirely different. Sure, shooting emails back and forth, or even getting an interview with famous people is cool.But developing an actual partnership with a DREAM MENTOR will require that you have something very powerful to bring to the table.Barnes brought intense enthusiasm and then used that to take Edisons ideas out into the world. Barnes was what Jeff Goins would call scrappy. He just wanted to do the work. He got better and better and better at what he did.If you already have a pre-existing capability, all the better. As Dan Sullivan has explained, the best collaborations are when a creator and distributor come together to take both where neither could go on their own.WHO is someone you want to partner with?DREAM BIG HERE Think really really big.WHO do you want to learn from?WHY this person?Once you have the answer to those two questions, all you need to do is get to work. As Bill Walsh wisely said, When the why is strong enough youll figure out howThe HOW will o nly take care of itself when you have the proper WHO and WHY in place.The WHO is the first question you need to answer. The WHY must be powerful for selecting that particular person.Write it down on paper.Write down WHO you want to work with.Write down WHY you want to learn from and/or work with them.Then, and only then, begin writing down HOW you plan to develop the connection. That connection should be built on the basis of service to their goals. In most cases, youre better-off doing more front-end work than Barnes did for Edison. Although sometimes your spirit and enthusiasm may be enough, in todays hyper-connected world, people in high places are getting more requests than they know what to do with.You need to make yourself stick out. If you approach them AFTERyouve already been supporting their work in powerful waysits clear to them you know what youre talking aboutyoure proposing ways you can help them achieve their goals without much work or effort on their partTHEN youve go t a really really good shot at developing incredible partnerships with your DREAM MENTORS.Be so good that you cant be ignoredIf a thing is done well, no one will ask how long it took to do it, but only who did it. - John TaylorAll of this is a lot easier if you already have developed expertise at something. Cal Newport explains the importance of being So Good They Cant Ignore You.If you understand relationships and if youre an abundant person PLUS youre already really really good at what you do, then it becomes easy to get mentored by and work with nearly anyone you want. If you have rare skills and abilities, you can use those skills abundantly to HELP the people you want to work with. Even more, you can also establish immediate credibility.Jeff Goins is right about the difference between being sophisticated and scrappy. Yes you can work with just about anyone if you really want to. But WHY? Is it to make yourself look good? Is it to fuel your ego and pride?Dan Sullivan says it on ly takes him a few minutes with a person for him to feel their core motivation, whether that be growth or greed.If your focus is on growth, giving, and continuing to do the work you love, then partnering with DREAM MENTORS will only catapult you further. But beware of what Jeff Goins calls The Dark Side Of Success. Its very easy to lose your way and forget your WHY when even a little bit of success comes your way.And if you truly dedicate yourself to becoming SO GOOD YOU CANT BE IGNORED, you will become successful. Becoming successful isnt rocket-science. Its about serving a specific audience in a way that is highly useful. Its about developing skills and using them to benefit others.Its never been easier to learn and develop skills. We have access to a global world with endless information and connection. We also have distribution channels that allow us to get our work and products viewed by millions of target audiences for either free or really cheap.Developing mastery is easier t han staying clear on your values and WHY after mastery has been developed. Follow Jeff Goins advice to stay scrappy no matter how successful you become. Always be better than you look. Stay humble and grateful in your relationships and people will love you.Always make the pie bigger for people. And when you shift your focus from HOW to WHO, youll immediately begin thinking 10X or 100X bigger.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong peopleWant more energy and bigger results Stop as king HOWFocus on WHO instead of HOW?- ?Dean JacksonTheres a famous story of Edwin C. Barnes, who in 1905 had no money or expertise. However, he was an ardent fan of the inventor, Thomas Edison.Barnes wanted to become business partners with Edison. He knew that if he became partners with Edison, there would be no limits on what he could accomplish. He took a freight train to New Jersey and walked straight to the Edison Laboratory.He was wearing musty and scrappy clothes and told Edison he wanted to go into business with him. Edison was impressed by the boldness and made Barnes a floor sweeper.During the next few years, Barnes did far more than expected of him for little pay. He also paid close attention to Edison, getting a sense of how he thought and what his goals were.After years of working on his dictating machine - what later became known as the Ediphone that recorded voice letters on a wax cylinder - Edison wanted to commercialize it. He loved the invention but none of his st aff saw much marketability in it.Barnes, however, thought the machine was brilliant and saw a huge potential market. He made a marketing plan for how he intended to sell the machines throughout America and shared the plan to Edison. He sought payment only on the success he created himself.Edison liked what he saw and accepted Barnes proposal. Within a short period of time, Barnes had sold thousands of machines and even had to create his own company to handle the demand. While things were growing dramatically, Barnes became known for hiring great people to help him market and distribute Edisons machine. He didnt see himself as a boss, but more of a coach and a partner to all of his employees.Barnes quickly became a millionaire, which back then meant a lot more than it means now. He developed a unique collaboration and partnership with Thomas Edison that became a long-term and highly lucrative relationship.Barnes didnt have a plan.Instead, he had a person.He had someone he wanted to w ork with and help.He didnt have a HOW. Barnes had a WHO.- - - Dont ask HOWWhen most people have goals, they immediately begin thinking about HOW. Billionaires immediately begin thinking about WHO.The public school-system does not teach people to become WHO-thinkers and collaborators. Instead, the school system teaches people how to become HOW-thinkers, equipped with a seemingly endless amount of generalized skillsets.Rather than looking for OTHERS to work with, kids are taught to compete against others and look for right answers. There is basically zero training on developing mentorships, collaborations, partnerships, teamwork, and leadership. Even as a PhD student, Ive been surprised how generalized my education has been. Rather than working with specific WHOs, my whole education has been a non-stop flow of HOWs.Dan Sullivan is the founder of Strategic Coach and has coached more successful entrepreneurs than anyone alive. According to Sullivan, when a person shifts from HOW to WH O, their goals immediately become national or global. Their thinking expands at least 10 to 100 times bigger, because they arent the one figuring out the HOW. Someone else already has that taken care of.According to Sullivan, the entrepreneurs who want to reach 100X or bigger influence and income realize they must collaborate with their competition. The best collaborations are when a idea-generator teams up with a distributor of ideas. This is what happened with Edison and Barnes. Edison had the idea and Barnes took the idea to the masses.Becoming a WHO-thinkerYour network is your net worth. - Tim SandersMost peoples goals are based on HOW. According to Dan Sullivan, thinking about the HOW is daunting and leads to procrastination. Instead of asking HOW, a much better question is WHO.WHO do you want to learn from?WHO is already doing what you want to be doing?WHO is where you want to be?WHO fascinates and/or inspires you?WHO do you want to collaborate with?WHO do you want to help? Ac cording to bestselling author Jeff Goins, Success isnt about who you know. Success is about who you help.There is a clear transition that people make as their vision for themselves advances. They stop thinking in terms of I do this. Instead, they shift to either They do this or We do this.They do this is where you begin thinking bigger about yourself and your time. You realize that when youre operating in your super-power, your time can actually be worth a lot of money. Therefore, you begin outsourcing and delegating the stuff you dislike about your work to other people and focus only on that which you love. Said YouTuber Casey Neistat, What is the ultimate quantification of success? For me, its not how much time you spend doing what you love. Its how little time you spend doing what you hate.It may seem scary to begin hiring or outsourcing before you feel ready. But the moment you begin doing it, youll never look back. The extra time and also the increased rate of happiness and pro ductivity will more than 10X for you, justifying the cost.We do this is a special place held for only those collaborations that make absolute sense to you. This is where you want to start thinking really big about the WHOs you want into your life. This is what Dan Sullivan was talking about when he said you want to collaborate with your competition.And by the way, competition doesnt exist for people who know who they are. Competition doesnt exist for people who trust themselves enough to know they can create continual Blue Oceans for themselves, regardless of the situation.Competition doesnt exist for people who are abundant WHO-thinkers, because rather than trying to steal the whole pie, abundant WHO-thinkers recognize thatThe pie doesnt belong to them, but to the UniverseThe pie is not finite, but infiniteNor is the game finite, but infiniteThe more of the pie you can give away, the bigger it gets for youRelationships are the most important currency in the worldIts better to give the piece of pie on your plate to the right person and youll quickly get plates back with even bigger piecesGive your piece away to the right person (even if its your favorite flavor)Life gives to the giver and takes from the taker. - Joe PolishRegarding the last point in the bullet above, I recently had the opportunity to co-author a book with one of the SHARKS from the TV show Shark Tank, Kevin Harrington. Several months ago, Kevins CEO, Mark Timm, heard me give a talk at a mastermind and felt good about me. He didnt know what we would do together, but felt like something important was going to happen.During my first meeting with Mark, I told him the only thing that made sense for me was co-authoring a book with Kevin. Id been looking for opportunities to co-author books with people at far different stages in their life and career than Im at.Within a few days, I got a text message from Mark, Kevins onboard. He loves the ideaFor the next two months, I worked back-and-forth with my agent on a book proposal. Then, something deep inside me began to feel wrong, like I wasnt the guy for this job. But at the same time, I knew this was potentially a career-altering opportunity.In the midst of all of this, I heard back from Dan Sullivan, my dream mentor and the founder of Strategic Coach that hed also like to co-author a major book with me.According to Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour WorkweekThe opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom.Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all.Remember - boredom is the enemy, not some abstract failure. I realized that, although a golden opportunity, I wasnt as excited about the Kevin Harrington book. It had becoming a complex and messy situation. But even more, I just felt like something was amiss. I ended-up getting on the phone with Mark to discuss why the project was beginning to stall when it had so much momentum. I began to explain why the situation was getting complex to me and then the idea hit me, Mark, you should be the co-author of this bookI heard nothing for 10 seconds.You know what, he said, This feels really right. But who would write it? Would you still write the book? I want you to continue being involved on this project.No, I told him, I have someone way better at writing than me who can take care of this for you.I ended-up linking them with a friend who has a company that specializes in writing books exactly like this. The connection worked-out perfectly. I was able to make the pie a lot bigger for Mark and Kevin. I didnt need to eat that particular pie with them. I didnt need to hold that opportunity tightly from a scarcity perspective. I gave that piece away. And now my relationship with them will last long-beyond this one project anyways. This was the right way to go for this project. Mark was the right name on that book. I wasnt going to get in the way of that.Billionaire Rich ard Branson said, Business opportunities are like buses, theres always another one coming. When you have an abundance mentality, and your focus is on giving more than taking, you realize that endless buses are coming filled with endless pieces of pie.When you operate from abundance, you develop powerful relationships with powerful people and you never run out of opportunities in The Gig Economy of which we are now a part. Operating from abundance means youre humble, people trust and like you, and youre a master of your craft. When this is the case, you will never run out of gigs in the gig economy.Never forget the important words of Jim Collins from Good To Great when he said, It takes discipline to say No, thank you to big opportunities. That fact that something is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is irrelevant if it doesnt fit.Stay scrappy (words of wisdom from a very wise and humble man)Bestselling author Jeff Goins has some really important stuff to say about saying No to the wr ong opportunities.According to Jeff theres a huge difference between people who try to look sophisticated and people who remain scrappy. As he saidSophisticated people are highly concerned about their image. They care about accolades, recognition, and appearance. In reality, these people look better than they actually are. Sophisticated people really care what others think and tend to compare and compete. They dont have a sense of their own work and are willing to do whatever has worked for others.Conversely, scrappy people are far more concerned about the work. They let their work speak for itself. These people are better than they look. Scrappy people stay in their lane. Theyre confident in who they are and dont compare themselves to others.We live in an age where people really really want to look sophisticated. Ive seen this so many times. A writer gets their first couple thousand email subscribers and all-of-a-sudden they are now the expert selling courses on the subject. And of course, they are taking all of the credit for their own success.The words of entrepreneur and strategist, Michael Fishman are instructiveSelf-made is an illusion. There are many people who played divine roles in you having the life that you have today. Be sure to let them know how grateful you are.In the book Give and Take, Adam Grant explained that successful people GIVE others credit while unsuccessful people TAKE the credit. Who wants to have a relationship with someone who takes all the credit? Who wants to have a relationship with someone who isnt appreciate and grateful and giving?Those seeking sophistication either wanted fame and notoriety in the first place or they have completely forgotten WHY they were doing their work. Either way is a short-term approach to life and a death-sentence for developing long-term and important relationships.Create a list of dream mentorsWhen the WHY is strong enough, youll figure out WHOWhen the WHO is exciting enough, youll figure out HOW- B enjamin Hardys adaptation of the quote by Bill WalshIn the book, The Third Door, Alex Banayan tells the story of how he met and learned from people like Bill Gates, Lady Gaga, Steven Spielberg, and others.Alex was clearly a WHO-thinker. Rather than deciding specifically what he wanted to do, instead he thought of WHO he wanted to learn from. Once he decided WHO, then he began getting very creative about HOW he would connect with those people.Alex was particularly inspired by Elliot Bisnow, the founder of Summit co-owner of Powder Mountain Resort in Eden, Utah. Alex wrote down on a piece of paperDREAM MENTORSHe listed Elliot Bisnow and spent the next several hours composing an email to Elliot. He said exactly what he needed to say in that email and got a meeting, which turned into a mentorship.In their first interview, Elliot gave Alex some ground-rules for developing powerful relationships with peopleNever use your phone in a meeting. It makes you look like a chump. The more digita l the world gets, the more impressive it is to use a pen. And its also just rude to be on your phone.Act like you belong. Walk into a room like youve been there before. Dont gawk over celebrities. Be cool. Be calm. Never ever ask someone for a picture. If you want to be treated like a peer, you need to act like one. Fans ask for pictures peers shake hands.Mystery makes history. When youre doing amazing stuff, dont post it on Facebook. No one actually changing the world posts everything they do online. Keep people guessing what youre up to. Plus, the people youre going to impress by posting stuff online are not the people you should care about impressing.Never, ever, go back on your word. If I tell you something in confidence, you need to be a vault. What goes in does not come out. This goes with your relationships with anyone from this day forward. If you act like a vault, people will treat you like a vault. It will take years to build your reputation but seconds to ruin it.Adventur es only happen to the adventurous.Who are your dream mentors?Who are your dream mentors?Who are the people who are WHERE YOU WANT TO BE?Who are the people who fascinate and inspire you?Who are the people you want to learn from?Joe Polish, the founder of Genius Network and arguably the most connected man in business, has a list of rules that he expects of those whom he interacts with. He calls it his Magic Rapport Formula. The principles of his formula areFocus on how you will help them reduce their sufferingInvest time, money, and energy on relationshipsBe the type of person they would always answer the phone forBe useful, grateful, and valuableTreat others how you would love to be treatedAvoid formalities, be fun and memorable, not boringAppreciate peopleGive value on the spotGet as close to in-person as you canIf you combine Elliot Bisnows rules with Joe Polishs formula, you have a potent cocktail for developing relationships and mentorships with just about anyone.You dont need to be the best in the world at what you do. You simply need to get the job done. You need to be able to help your DREAM MENTOR in a powerful and compelling way. Remember Edwin Barnes from the beginning of this article? He didnt have much by way of expertise. He just had a definite desire to work for Edison.Wait, no. He wanted more than just to work for Edison. He wanted to be Edisons partner. He wanted to collaborate with Edison. And of course, he did. It took a little time, but he built rapport and then seized a powerful moment by making it all about Edisons success and goals.A fast and powerful way to get noticedBeing mentored by your heroes is one thing. But collaborating with your heroes is something entirely different. Sure, shooting emails back and forth, or even getting an interview with famous people is cool.But developing an actual partnership with a DREAM MENTOR will require that you have something very powerful to bring to the table.Barnes brought intense enthusiasm and the n used that to take Edisons ideas out into the world. Barnes was what Jeff Goins would call scrappy. He just wanted to do the work. He got better and better and better at what he did.If you already have a pre-existing capability, all the better. As Dan Sullivan has explained, the best collaborations are when a creator and distributor come together to take both where neither could go on their own.WHO is someone you want to partner with?DREAM BIG HERE Think really really big.WHO do you want to learn from?WHY this person?Once you have the answer to those two questions, all you need to do is get to work. As Bill Walsh wisely said, When the why is strong enough youll figure out howThe HOW will only take care of itself when you have the proper WHO and WHY in place.The WHO is the first question you need to answer. The WHY must be powerful for selecting that particular person.Write it down on paper.Write down WHO you want to work with.Write down WHY you want to learn from and/or work with t hem.Then, and only then, begin writing down HOW you plan to develop the connection. That connection should be built on the basis of service to their goals. In most cases, youre better-off doing more front-end work than Barnes did for Edison. Although sometimes your spirit and enthusiasm may be enough, in todays hyper-connected world, people in high places are getting more requests than they know what to do with.You need to make yourself stick out. If you approach them AFTERyouve already been supporting their work in powerful waysits clear to them you know what youre talking aboutyoure proposing ways you can help them achieve their goals without much work or effort on their partTHEN youve got a really really good shot at developing incredible partnerships with your DREAM MENTORS.Be so good that you cant be ignoredIf a thing is done well, no one will ask how long it took to do it, but only who did it. - John TaylorAll of this is a lot easier if you already have developed expertise at something. Cal Newport explains the importance of being So Good They Cant Ignore You.If you understand relationships and if youre an abundant person PLUS youre already really really good at what you do, then it becomes easy to get mentored by and work with nearly anyone you want. If you have rare skills and abilities, you can use those skills abundantly to HELP the people you want to work with. Even more, you can also establish immediate credibility.Jeff Goins is right about the difference between being sophisticated and scrappy. Yes you can work with just about anyone if you really want to. But WHY? Is it to make yourself look good? Is it to fuel your ego and pride?Dan Sullivan says it only takes him a few minutes with a person for him to feel their core motivation, whether that be growth or greed.If your focus is on growth, giving, and continuing to do the work you love, then partnering with DREAM MENTORS will only catapult you further. But beware of what Jeff Goins calls The Dar k Side Of Success. Its very easy to lose your way and forget your WHY when even a little bit of success comes your way.And if you truly dedicate yourself to becoming SO GOOD YOU CANT BE IGNORED, you will become successful. Becoming successful isnt rocket-science. Its about serving a specific audience in a way that is highly useful. Its about developing skills and using them to benefit others.Its never been easier to learn and develop skills. We have access to a global world with endless information and connection. We also have distribution channels that allow us to get our work and products viewed by millions of target audiences for either free or really cheap.Developing mastery is easier than staying clear on your values and WHY after mastery has been developed. Follow Jeff Goins advice to stay scrappy no matter how successful you become. Always be better than you look. Stay humble and grateful in your relationships and people will love you.Always make the pie bigger for people. An d when you shift your focus from HOW to WHO, youll immediately begin thinking 10X or 100X bigger.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.

Bad Questions to Ask an Interviewer

Bad Questions to Ask an InterviewerBad Questions to Ask an InterviewerThere are many good questions to ask an interviewer that will help you come across as smart and informed. These are not them.They say theres no such thing as a dumb question. Sadly, were not so sure. The Creative Group asked more than 400 advertising and marketing executives to share the most unusual question they have heard of an applicant posing during a job interview. Our survey respondents did not disappoint.We trust that ansicht real-life candidate queries will leave you asking the same thing as us Why?Oddball questions to ask an interviewerCan my mom sit in on the interview?How many office parteies do you have?When can I start taking time off?Do you believe in aliens?Is it OK to date coworkers?Can you be quiet? I have to take a call from another potential employer.Take a look at the 20 wackiest candidate questions uncovered in our researchThe 20 Worst Questions to Ask an Interviewer from Robert HalfSmart ques tions to ask an interviewerOK, so now that weve covered questions never to ask an interviewer, what kinds of queries should you serve up? Generally speaking, your goal should be to show interviewers that youve done your research and are serious about the opportunity. Here are a few questions to consider posingWhy is this position open?What is the typical career path for someone in this role?What are the companys short- and long-term goals? What part would I play in achieving those objectives?What are the relationships like between the creative department and other areas of the company?Im extremely interested in this position. What are the next steps?Looking for more smart questions to ask an interviewer? Check out these 15 phenomenal queries.

10 unconventional habits that will improve your life dramatically

10 unconventional habits that will improve your life dramatically10 unconventional habits that will improve your life dramaticallyYouve all heard the cliche success advice to Work Harder and Read MoreSo I decided to provide you with a few unconventional habits that will improve your life dramatically in as little as 30 days.Enjoy.1. Sleep moraPlain and simple, most people dont sleep enough.If you want to live your best life and accomplish your biggest dreams and ambitions, then you need to have as much energy as possible.Sleep 89 hours a night without apology and I promise your life will be better because of it.2. Quit being niceMost people arent too mean, theyre too nice.They allow other people to push them around and dictate what they can and cant do.So just for a little bit, I want you to stop being so darn nice.Say No when you want to.Be unapologetic about your needs and desires.Stop shifting your entire schedule and life around to please people who do nothing for you.Be more sel fish, prioritize yourself, and your life will improve dramatically.3. Be lazierHard work is overrated.Instead, you should try to work smart.Be lazyOnly do what is absolutely necessary to achieve your goal. Its welchesteful to work for 8 hours when you could get the same task done in 3.Forget the hype and what you see on social media, the hustle movement isnt going to get you where you want to be.Cultivate selective laziness and do only what you need to do.This will force you to focus on important tasks, prioritize your time and energy, and actually make moves that will advance your life.4. Read fewer booksIve read hundreds of books Hundreds.And I remembermaybe 50 of them.If you want to make the most of your self education, you must read. But you shouldnt try to read a book a day or even a book a week as some gurus recommend.Instead, pick 612 amazing books that are hyper focused on challenges you are facing in your life right now and go all out on what those books tell you to do.Take massive action on what you learn and only move onto the next book once youve reaped the rewards of the information youve already learned.Knowledge without action is impotent.5. Play more video games (the right kind)SeriouslyVideo games help you unwind, relax, and think about problems in a different way.Buy a great strategy game or something that encourages tactical thinking and play it periodically throughout the day.It will help you approach your life in creative ways and give you a great way to stimulate your brain while unwinding.6. Exercise moreOkThis isnt exactly unconventional, but its still important.Exercise is one of the single most important habits that you can cultivate and build into your life.The more you move, the happier and more successful you will be.Spend at least 90 minutes a day doing something active and train with intensity in the gym at least 3 times a week.Every area of your life will improve when you do.7. Spend less time in the office and more time with fr iendsIn a study conducted by Harvard over 80 years, they found that relationships, not financial success was the greatest indicator of happiness and general quality of life.No one sits on their death bed regretting not spending more time in the office.Almost everyone wishes that theyd spent more time with family and loved ones.Quit working so darn hard and instead prioritize important relationships in your life.8. Dont trust yourselfYou lie to yourself more than anyone else that you know.All too often people tell you to trust your intuition and follow your gut.But in reality, you and your gut are both liars.Instead, trust the facts. Listen to the data. And think about things logically.Make decisions based on sound reason and evidence, not the little voice in your head.9. Quit trying so hardLife isnt that serious.Were all going to die anyways and everything that youve accomplished will one day be wiped clean from the history books.So stop acting like youre important and stressing you rself out because you feel a burden to impact the world.Have more fun, smile more, laugh more, and enjoy your life.Because at the end of the day, this is all youve got.10. Ignore (almost) everyonePeople are full of crap.Just about everyone I know is completely wrong about somethingThis post was originally published on Quora.com.

The Dos and Donts of Asking for a Promotion

The Dos and Donts of Asking for a PromotionThe Dos and Donts of Asking for a Promotion You work hard. Youd like to landsee your efforts rewarded. In an ideal world, your superiors would recognize your talent and offer you a promotion . But advancing is rarely that easy. Weve compiled the ultimate guide to asking for a promotion. Read on if climbing the career ladder is in your sightsLet your boss know that youre interested in moving up in the future. Let them know where youre at today, and how you see yourself evolving to fill a new role in the future. Have a concrete action plan and ask for feedback on it.When youve positioned yourself and youre ready to ascend the career ladder, ask your boss for a meeting to discuss your role. Here are a few things to keep in mind.Asking for a promotion is one of the most unnerving challenges any worker faces. But if you go into the process fully prepared and confident in your skills, youll increase the odds of successfully earnin g the career boost you deserve.This article was originally published on Grammarly . It is reprinted with permission.

Free Resumes Templates - What Is It?

Free Resumes Templates - What Is It? Employing a crop-share of flexible cash rent places the land owner in danger and raises the demand for the landowner to be certain of the tenants management abilities. Getting the most of a resource that wont only help save you time, but is shown to elevate your opportunity of scoring a work simply is logical. Seems like a no-brainer, but youd be amused to discover the sum of people who lie in their resumes. You need to work with many distinct kinds of people and formulate a strategy that effectively brings all of your players with each other to create a wholesome team atmosphere. Attempt to comprehend the market of the organization youre asking for work, and identify what type of difficulties they may be going through. Our industry doesnt require licenses, and your skill in an area will be decided during the interview practice. When you find one which matches both your chosen industry and your personality, youre going to be on to a winning formula. There are troves of career advice throughout the net, but sometimes we have to wrestle and go a bit deeper to locate wise and honest assistance. Then it may be time to bring some style to your resume The kind of your resume depends not simply on the job which you are applying for but also how you wish to present your individual abilities, job history and education. Resumes do not need to be boring. They provide the all important first impressions to an employer that an applicant cannot give during the earliest phase of the application process. Creating your resume has never been simplerFor product managers, interpersonal skills are the most crucial and also the toughest. Make sure as youre listing experiences to begin with the latest experience and work back from that point. Include the tools youve got experience with. Work experience should be impressive, but projects ought to be interesting. Since you may see, theres a wide variety of freebies to select from. To begin with, make sure your fonts are big enough. Absolutely free printable resume template with creative and easy design. Free of charge creative clean resume template for virtually any job Opportunity. Plain text is difficult to read when printed out. Double check to be certain that everything on the last version of the resume is about you. If youre going to use a paper edition of your resume, make certain to use a good printer. For instance, you may include links to your previous experience websites for simple access in case theyre curious. You will see loads of helpful info on job ads. Include any relevant personal link you wish to share, as an example, your portfolio or blog site. By way of example, get resume suggestions for coaches in every single section and search by keyword to find examples of the way that it looks. Test out the new resume templates 2017 as its a chronological type resume it can help to highlight your career summary. Whatever template you se lect, youre given the simple design elements as the foundation for your own creation. The advantages of working with a template The obvious reason behind using a template is the way quickly and easily you are able to put your resume together. The template is extremely oganized and named layers also simple to customize. In terms of technical jargon, do not automatically think that the employer will understand what you are speaking about. Also make certain you tailor the document to the job youre applying for. Now youve created a stunning resume why not add to your promotional tools by developing a personal small business card. Remember that employers will be sifting through lots of applications.

Get the Scoop on Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa Before Youre Too Late

Get the Scoop on Best Online Resume Writing tafelgeschirrs Usa Before Youre Too Late Definitions of Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa If money is a problem, first try out getting guidance to help you better yur resume. The procedure for ordering is easy including giving personal info and filling out the purchase form then followed by picking the sort of tafelgeschirrs that you would want. If you believe you need help with your resume, you want to locate the best resume writing service not to compromise your opportunity to bag the position which you dream about. You will need assistance with making a resume. What Everybody Dislikes About Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa and Why Resume writing is the most essential step in presenting your abilities and receiving the job that you desire. During the procedure, you will work one-on-one with a certified, experienced professional till you have a resume youre pleased with. The order procedure is very uncomplicated and straightforward. The USAJOBS application procedure is intended to weed out candidates who cant follow precise instructions. Things You Wont Like About Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa and Things You Will This list includes not just the category of the resume but the goods and price too. There are big advantages of gambling online instead of live games at land-based casinos. Its important to understand what youre paying for before you commit, as you will need to guarantee youre receiving the best service possible for the price youre paying. If you attempt to find CareerPerfect reviews online, youll discover few recommendations and lots of complaints. The Tried and True Method for Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa in Step by Step Detail Thus, you will know all that is required. The outline of your information should be correctly presented. 1 special feature given by Resume Writers Service is that if youre a returning customer, you can find any services for hal f off the normal price. Resumes Looking is among the ideal writing support, that has been in the marketplace for 9 decades. The Downside Risk of Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa Youre then matched with a writer that is most suitable for your career profile. Basically, writing skills really make a difference in the way you encounter. In the event you want to go started, its quite simple to order from Resume Writers. Folks struggle with writing resumes for a complete host of explanations. As you dont understand how much of what things to include. Lots of people dont like their existing job or career. You will receive competent support and outstanding outcomes Some people think they dont have sufficient experience, and thus their resumes wind up looking too sparse. Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa - Dead or Alive? Because you cannot figure out the way to condense your present 5-page resume into a 2-page one. A professional writing service will know precisely w hat a winning CV needs, and you may rest assured your weapon will be correctly prepared. Another benefit of our website is the quickness. The Best Online Resume Writing Services Usa Stories Obviously, the best method to discover such assistance is if you have a look into the top rated professional resume writing services reviews. If youre searching for he best resumes writing service, you have arrived at the correct place. The very best thing about us is that each and every time you can buy original essay papers for sale. The actual men and women highly praise our essay help site.

Admissions Director Job Description

Admissions Director Job DescriptionAdmissions Director Job DescriptionAdmissions Director Job DescriptionThis admissions director sample job description can assist in your creating a job application that will attract job candidates who are qualified for the job. Feel free to revise this job description to meet your specific job duties and job requirements.Description Admissions DirectorAdmissions Director Job Purpose Attracts students to the university by directing admissions strategies promoting the university nationally directing staff.Admissions Director Job DutiesAccomplishes admissions human resource strategies by determining accountabilities communicating and enforcing values, policies, and procedures implementing recruitment, selection, orientation, training, coaching, counseling, disciplinary, and communication programs planning, monitoring, appraising, and reviewing job contributions planning and reviewing compensation strategies.Develops admissions organizational strategies by contributing information, analysis, and recommendations to strategic thinking and direction establishing functional objectives in line with organizational objectives.Establishes admissions operational strategies by evaluating trends establishing critical measurements determining production, productivity, quality, and customer-service strategies designing systems accumulating resources resolving problems implementing change.Develops admissions financial strategies by estimating, forecasting, and anticipating requirements, trends, and variances aligning monetary resources developing action plans measuring and analyzing results initiating corrective actions minimizing the impact of variances.Promotes the university and attracts new students by maintaining working relationships with other university departments working closely with the alumni office and the publications department.Maintaing continuing flow of quality applicants and transfers to the university by analyzing trends in enrollment and marketing activities, leading activities to continue programs that are effective modifying programs presenting new sales strategies for the universitys recruitment and admission activities.Promotes the university nationwide by making presentations and speeches at alumni meetings, high school conferences, and community job fairs throughout the united states.Welcomes prospective student to the unigelnde by staging semi-annual open houses.Maximizes recruiting and admissions processing by using state-of-the-art recruiting and admissions computer technology.Gains the respect of diverse individual groups by demonstrating the ability of the university to respond to the concerns and interests of its minority communities.Determines scholarship recipients by serving on the universitys scholarship selection committee.Updates job knowledge by participating in educational opportunities reading professional publications maintaining personal networks participating in professional or ganizations.Enhances admissions department and university reputation by accepting ownership for accomplishing new and different requests exploring opportunities to add value to job accomplishments.Skills/Qualifications Informing Others, Listening, Verbal Communication, Written Communication, Motivating Others, Foster Teamwork, Self-Motivated, Organizational Astuteness, Coordination, Tracking Budget Expenses, Administrative Writing SkillsRead more aboutthe recruiting processIs Employee Compensation on the Rise in your Job Market?How to Write a Job Description Resource PageMaintain a Legal Hiring Process

Feeling stuck in life Take your life from stuck to awesome

Feeling stuck in life Take your life from stuck to awesomeFeeling stuck in life Take your life from stuck to awesomeIt sucks to feel stuck.Youre in a rut, and you cant get unstuck.Youre convinced that something must change, whether in your work or personal life. But you are struggling to figure it out. It happens to all of us. The most important thing is to act and refuse to stay stuck.Staying stuck and refusing to do something about it, is the biggest obstacle to your recovery.Alistair Smith once said, Getting stuck is not a problem. Staying stuck is. Good learners practice getting unstuck,Many people want something better for their lives, but they dont know where to departure. Others have done amazing things in the past, they are struggling in the present to be awesome again.Ladders is now on SmartNewsDownload the SmartNews app and add the Ladders channel to read the latest career news and advice wherever you go.The good news is, its just a feeling, when you start to make positive movement forward, the feeling will change.Mandy Hale saysGrowth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you dont belong.When youre stuck, things feel immovable, entrenched, even hopeless but the good news, you can always do something about it.When you are stuck, Bruce Chant recommends that you ask yourself three important questions to re-calibrate and get moving in the right direction again.Those three questions areWhat do you want? Name it. Define it. Call it out.What is stopping you? A belief or mindset. Fear. An excuse.What do you need to do to obtain it? Now you can work to address the issue, but do so by starting small.Take a break to restore flowSometimes all you need to restore flow, is to take a step back and ask where the current patterns are leading and whether you are making progression or not. If you feel stuck in a different area of your life, break the norm.When was the last time you deliberately broke your flow. Taking a bre ak every now and then is important for your work. Do yourself a favor and take sometime off to recuperate.Dont stay put in one spot for too long. Move. Get up. Take a 15 min walk. The faster your blood moves, the faster oxygen gets to your brain. Hence, better ideas, better results.Practice solitude.If you are distracted by too many things, it pays to disconnect. Remove distractions. Turn off notifications. Or better still, turn off your phone, mobile devices and leverage silence to think or relax. In other words, block out the external world and retreat inwards to find new energy.Sometimes all you need is a change of environment, style, routine or pattern. Break away from the usual.Sura, a Meditation Coach, recommmends you move and play. She writesBeing immersed in movement and play really gets the flow of energy moving in your body and your life. Try a new way of moving dancing, tai chi, racquetball. Go see a comedy. Paint. Play Twister or Monopoly. Whatever it is, let yourself be free without restriction. What are the silly, playful things that you dont usually make time for? Giving yourself time to play and unwind can make an immense difference in bringing new energy into your life.Try lateral thinkingLateral thinking means deliberately setting out to look at a challenge from completely different angles to find great solutions that would otherwise remain hidden.As Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. A new approach is probably all you need to get unstuck.Break away from vertical thinking.Vertical Step by step, analyzing, based on facts and convention, one expected result.Lateral Provokes, jumps from one to another, breaks the rules, looks at possibilities, many resultsShane Snow, author of Smartcuts How Hackers, Innovators, and Icons Accelerate Success explainsLateral Thinking is the process of solving problems via different angles than you might expect. It doesnt happen when you do more of the same thing. So just simply working harder may not accomplish a goal like rethinking the approach youre taking. Lateral thinking is about getting in the mindset of breaking the rules that arent really rules theyre just the way things have been conventionally done in the past.Changing courseChanging course can be challenging, but what makes it exciting is the restoration of hope.Give yourself a new and significant challenge.To get that momentum back, give yourself something to pursue and find an accountability partner to help you take actionable steps.Your pursuit should be meaningful to you. Why you pursue something is equally as important as what you pursue. Start something greater than yourself. Something you truly believe in.Just doing something different can boost your mood, change your perspective and give you a sense of optimism to move forward.Pursue something that bring out the best in you. That way you will enjoy the journey and the process.You can easily lose the motivatio n in the process and give up. But everything changes when you leverage an accountability system.To be accountable, all you need is a clear goal and a willingness to let others help you achieve it.When you tell yourself - and no one else - that you will quit smoking, start a new gym routine, write a book, launch a meaningful project or quit your just okay job in order to pursue something greater and better, you are less likely to do it. Its easy to choose something else more comfortable and make excuses.When you make your goals public, you receive a combination of responses you can use to fuel your desire to succeedFind someone who will challenge, engage and evoke a sense of accomplishment in you.Move beyond mere talk and commit to specific actions that will move your goals forward, and agree with someone else to hold you accountable.Take the easiest step you can imagine to change courseOnce you start moving, youll feel unbelievably better. Youll feel the power of motion, youll fee l the rut moving behind you. That one step - its all it takes to start moving and creating again.You dont have to be stuck. You can choose to take action today to move yourself forward, making progress towards your ultimate goal in life.Know what you want, discern whats stopping you, and take the next smallest step to get there. Choose to make your life better, even when you are not stuckDig deeperMy new course,Thinking in Models is LIVE. Its designed to help you to think clearly, solve problems at multiple levels of depths, and make complex decisions with confidence.Join a communityof people on a mission to think clearly, work better, solve problems at multiple levels of depths, and make complex decisions with confidenceClick here for details.You can also subscribe to Postanly Weekly (my free weekly digest of the best posts about behaviour change that affect health, wealth, and productivity). Subscribe and get a free copy of my new book, The Power of One Percent Better Small Gains , Maximum Results. Join over 45,000 people on a mission to build a better life.Thisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.

How people in happy relationships talk about money

How people in happy relationships talk about moneyHow people in happy relationships talk about moneyHonesty and intimacy are well understood as bedrocks of ahealthy relationship. But without complete transparency aroundfinances, they may notlage be possible. Thats because beneath the surface of everyfinancial conversationa couple has are the major factors underpinning any relationship power, intimacy, and trust.I say that money is one of the best communication tools that there is, actually, says Jacquette Timmons, a financial coach and the author ofFinancial Intimacy How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Money and Your Mate.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreTimmons regularly helps married couples arrive on the same financial page. Too often, she says, couples get far down the road before they ever discuss their finances. An example One couple Timmons worked with dated for four years before they got married, and it was only then that they discovered that the husband expected the couples finances to remain separate, while the wife expected everything to be split evenly. Kind of a big deal.Such situations are not uncommon, Timmons says, and often occur because both partners assume theyll just do what their parents did. In this couples case, the wifes father was an entrepreneur, the mother stayed at home, and all resources were shared the husbands parents were divorced, and his parents accordingly handled their finances separately.I think a lot of it is centered around what you saw modeled for you, and then the expectations that you have around that, that you bring into your relationship.Thats not to say Timmons recommends one one approach over another Whether couples merge and share their finances, keep them completely separate, or maintainseparate accountsbut also establish shared accounts should be based on what works best for their situations, she s ays.However, the one thing Timmons does insist on is transparency. If partners agree to keep some or all finances separate, they must also offer complete visibility into each others accounts, including unfettered access to account statements.So, its not like My names not on it, and Im blind. You just dont want to be financially blind, she says.The cost of not having such transparency is nothing less than the health of the entire relationship.I think certainly it erodes thetrust. And what comes along with eroding the trust is the willingness to be vulnerable, Timmons says. Because otherwise I think you leave the window open for a lot of distrust to seep in, and thats never good for any relationship, whether its triggered by finances or anything else.There are financial ramifications, too, as plans are made separately, according to different goals - which ties again back to the maintenance of the relationship itself, since ideally couples are saving and investing with common goals an d developing a camaraderie in the process.If you were having more candid, open conversations about moneyyoud actually choose to behave differently with your money, and you would probably set different goals and figure out how do you partner in making those goals happen, Timmons says. So, you miss out on the opportunity to actually collaborate and behave as two people being on the team of one.Thats why couples should embrace the opportunity to talk aboutfinances, carrying a sense of curiosity and optimism into those conversations and viewing them as opportunities to plan and and obtain things that they both want.Then you kind of make it more of a fun experience and exercise that youre doing, instead of that dreaded thing, Timmons says.Those conversations need to occur regularly, both for tactical planning and for larger-scale assessments of goals and respective contributions from each partner.Its never a one-and-done negotiation, Timmons says. As circumstances in your respective live s, and in your life as a couple, change you have to navigate and negotiate different realities. So what may have worked for you last year may not work for you this year, and so youve got to adjust.Of course,vulnerabilitycan be hard to achieve, including with finances. Thats why Timmons says its important to go into that first financial conversation willing to be open and prepared to work together.Very few people are looking for someone to come to the table perfect, and that includes with regards to their money, she says. I think whats most important is that, if your stuff is not together, people want to know that youve got a plan. And I think thats what people might want to pay more attention to Does someone have a plan? Or can you create a plan together?This article originally appeared on Fatherly.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Frank lins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people